At 6:00 am on Saturday, November 6, Eric and I found ourself at LAX. Our destination: St. Louis, Missouri. No, we wouldn't be hanging out at the Gateway to the West with its gleaming mid-century modern arch designed by Eero Saarinen. No Rams football, no slabs of ribs, and definitely no trip to Branson. The itinerary dictated waiting for two hours in the airport and then spending another a two hours riding the short bus to Columbia.
When the trip was first brought up, we were excited about the prospect of visiting Columbia University in New York City. Nope. Located halfway between St. Louis and Kansas City, Columbia is the home of the University of Missouri. Known to face-painted football freaks as Mizzou, the campus was the site of the Midwest Asian American Student Union (MAASU) Leadership Conference. The leaders of Asian-American student groups from the host school, DePaul, Carleton, University of Illinois, and other campuses gathered for a day of conferences and seminars, and our job was to deliver the keynote speech. By the time we pulled up at the Best Western--where we were staying and someone else was airing out a stinky turd down the hall--the sessions were already over. Stepping out of the bus, we were greeted by Joyce and Jenny. Being taken to campus by co-ed cousins was almost like being in a beer commercial: "... and twins!" Okay, not really, but they told us about the day's presentations. Some of the juicier topics included "Dating: Asian Men vs. White Men," "First Years as an Asian-American Professional," "Asian Americans in Music," and "Eight Steps to Power." I think Ice-T presented the last one. At the entrance of the hall where we were speaking, a banner was taped up that welcomed MAAU conference attendees and listed Eric and me as guests. We were tempted to burst though it as we entered the banquet facility. We chose not to.
Upon learning that dinner would be served before our speech, Eric was a little worried that the 120 attendees would split after eating. Shockingly, everyone stayed. But his other fear--that the vegetarian dish would have a lot of cheese--turned out to be true. He scraped off the top layer of Parmesan, but nothing could be done about the creamy spinach innards. Joining us at our table were Andy, the president of MU's Asian-American student group, and his posse, as well as members of the advisory board. A hardcore GR reader traded places with the MU secretary to sit with us. I was a little worried when the issue he brought was passed to the advisors. They flipped through the mag with grumpy faces, and I'm pretty sure they didn't get it. Oh well. Extra tension was added when Pablo, the conference organizer, asked MU students to step outside. There were way more people than chairs, and the locals were asked to eat at McDonald's. A weird vibe hung over the dressed-up crowd, but eventually tables were rolled in and everyone was accommodated. I think their entree looked better than ours. They ate stuffed bell peppers--probably leftovers from a wedding that was being celebrated next door. The talk? We probably worked harder on this one than any other. To fill an entire hour, we created a detailed outline that touched on just about everything that we've ever said to a student group. It broke down the evolution of GR from the bedroom years to the time spent downtown to the modern era. Sprinkled in were magazine-related anecdotes and various observations about Asian and Asian-American popular culture. No, we didn't rehearse it. That would have been too weird.