How to Order Off of the Secret Chinese Restaurant Menu?

Funny List of how to pick a Chinese restaurant and how to order off of the secret menu. We can picture it already.

You: Can I see the other menu?

Them: There is no other menu.

You: Surely there must be other food aside from Mu Shu Pork?

Them: No, but would you like Chow Mein?

After all this, what do you do? What if the menu shows up in Chinese and then the conversation switches to a mountainous dialog of Chinese? Doom. This crap isn’t going to work. Do Chinese restaurants really have another menu that’s ready to go? It’ll take an entire different fridge, cooking techniques and time. A few may do it, but do you really think over 50% would entertain this? (MSNBC – Chinese food)