By Eric on 2006-12-31

Don’t buy a new car, ever. Did you know buying a car is like talking to a guy like Borat. The guy will say whatever he needs to so you can pull out your wallet and buy a car. Some of it won’t make any sense, and you’ll be scratching your head. Also a lot of dealerships have the sleasiest sales people, don’t get one of them. Be ready to leave!

1) Did you know buying a car averages 4 hours, it can take 6 or more!? Why not just 1 or 2 hours? It’s a long process.
2) If you want a certain car, it can take months, so you might be stuck with one that has extra features that you have to pay extra for.
3) It’s possible you won’t get what you want, so you’ll have to settle for something else. Different color outside, inside, etc.
4) the car negotiation process is a drag. It’s the most ridiculous song and dance ever. It’s goofy, you volley prices across a table. It’s as dumb as can be. It’s hard to keep a straight face in this, but I guess the way to do it, is to walk away and see if they chase you. It never gets regular, it’s completely surreal. If you want to laugh go for it. Who cares, right?
5) Know what you’re doing before you walk in. Figure out how much the car costs, figure out how much you want to spend, and how much you want to try and lower the price. Who knows where this info is, but in the end, it’s all a terrible experience. Just try and get money off. Start ridiculous and then see if it works.
6) Be ready to be hungry and eat food. If you’re there for 6 hours you’ll get hungry. Use it to your advantage. “Let me think about it while eating food.” See ya. Maybe that’ll help.
7) Bring a negotiator. Want a deal? Bring someone who can do this. It’s worth bribing someone for this help. It’s unfortunate, that it takes a special person to help buy a car with the best deal. What happens to the folks are great, honest, but can’t negotiate like a swap meet seller?
8) Be greedy. If you can do it, be a dick. I guess in the end, they expect that, and they’re on commission! Do the best you can. It’s a terrible process.

The commssion supposedly happens after a phone call comes. You supposedly will get a call asking you about your experience at the dealership. Two people very sternly lectured me and told me, I must say, “extremely satisfied” to ALL of the questions. I felt like I was acosted to say that answer to everything. They even asked me, “will you do this?” I answered with, “It depends on which questions they ask.” Fair right? But they didn’t like my response, and drove the point harder and harder and even said, “call us first. Or hang up” before I give a lesser answer. It’s ridiculous and I’ll answer how I want. The phone call is the last bargaining chip I have. I’m keeping this one for a bit.